The Manipulators
by Ryo Wei
Summary: Iwamine Shuu is confronted with an interesting man who goes by the name Ardyn Izunia. Just how will these two get along and what does Shuu plan to do with Ardyn? Or perhaps it's Ardyn that needs to decide what to do with Shuu?


Author's notes: I'd like to apologize to everyone that reads this. This story is a joke, and a bad one at that. It started as an April Fools joke and now here we are. A stupid amount of time went into this. But what better way to celebrate my best friend's birthday than by giving her a shitty fanfiction? Happy birthday you fucking meme. I hope anyone else who reads this will enjoy it too.

The Manipulators

The cleaver fell with a clattering sound on to the linoleum. It was loud, too loud. Shuu was, however, too preoccupied with the man in front of him to care about the noise it made. By all logic this was scientifically impossible. Slashing across one's neck as deep as he had was a guaranteed death. 90 seconds was all it took, and yet he stood back up.

The man adjusted his fedora. "Well now, that was rather messy now wasn't it?"

Shuu reached for the scalpel in his pocket, going to slash across his throat a second time, but his wrist was caught.

"Now what, pray tell, are you hoping to accomplish with that?"

"I killed you."

"Ah, but you didn't." A playful smirk spread across his lips.

To even his own surprise Shuu smiled back. His right hand fingered a syringe in his pocket and flicked off the cover. "Ohoho, no, I suppose I didn't." His arm swung out and the needle sunk into the man's neck. "Not yet anyways."

Ardyn woke up with his hands bound above his head. His eyes focused on the man wearing the lab coat in front of him. He twirled a scalpel between his fingers, humming along to some slow jazz music coming from a radio in the corner.

He glanced up at his bindings and then again at his captor. "My my, it has been...a while since I was last tied up." Then he happened to look down. Something was missing, his legs to be exact. "Although, this is new..."

"You should have bled out by now." The man spoke up, glancing at the watch he wore on his right wrist. "But I stopped the bleeding. I'm not sure what would happen if I killed you again. So I'm saving that experience for later." He motioned towards the tarp that Ardyn was sitting on. There was quite a bit of blood. The floors in the immediate area around the tarp were stained a light pink. He clearly was not the first person to be strung up like a recently butchered animal.

His captor pulled a digital recorder from his pocket and spoke into it. "Medical journal 306, April 1st, 2188. Subject has regained consciousness at-" he paused to take another look at his watch "7:38 PM. He appears alert and aware of his present condition." He locked eyes with Ardyn, blinking softly as he spoke. "Despite previous hypothesis' his legs remain unattached and show no signs of regenerating. Further tests will have to be run to establish how far this healing ability of his goes." He placed the recorder down, holding the eye contact. "So, can you die?"

"You know, there are certain things you don't mention on a first date: your crazy family, how many people you've slept with, and 'are you immortal?'."

The man tilted his head to the side. "Well then I suppose it's a good thing that this isn't a date then."

"If you say so." Ardyn gave him a teasing smile. "But the smooth jazz you have playing suggests otherwise."

The man snorted. "If you'd like me to drug you again by all means keep up the witty retorts."

He laughed. "Temper temper. I'm merely trying to get to know you better. After all it's not every day you get dismembered and tied up. What sort of man does that in his free time I have to wonder?"

"The kind that will happily cut out your tongue if you keep spouting off nonsense." The man replied.

"Will you at the very least give me your name? It's only proper that we introduce ourselves."

The man in the lab coat seemed to hesitate for a moment. He broke the eye contact he'd been holding up until that point, glancing to the side. "Shuu, Iwamine, Shuu." He answered.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Shuu."

Shuu's face contorted into a look of minor disgust. "And who might you be?"

"A man of no consequ-"

"I don't recommend finishing that sentence." He held his scalpel at Ardyn's throat. "I told you my name. Now you're going to tell me yours."

"Ardyn Izunia," he leaned into the knife "at your service."

Shuu withdrew the scalpel and placed it back inside his pocket. He nodded. "Well then Mr. Izunia, back on the topic of your immortality..."

Transferring a body from one place to another was no easy feat. There was the issue of dead weight. How do you carry something so heavy? The bigger issue was that of not being seen, which in Shuu's case was arguably easier than the former. He had people for that. Hawk party resources never disappointed. But once the man who called himself Ardyn Izunia had been transported to his house he was met with the weight dilemma by himself. How to get him to the basement?

"You have a lovely home." Ardyn commented, flashing a smile.

Shuu sighed. Had the drugs worn off already? "I don't suppose you could get down a flight of stairs by yourself?" He asked.

"Well, considering that you have been so kind as to liberate me from my legs I'm going to have to say no."

"Hmph..." Shuu stared down the stairwell. Teenagers were one thing. They were smaller and he rarely brought their bodies home. Ardyn Izunia was a full grown man. Even without his legs Shuu couldn't see this being easy. Maybe if he tossed him down the stairs? He looked his new test subject over. That could result in broken bones and maybe even a broken neck. He wasn't sure he could afford that sort of damage. This so called "immortality" surely had its limits. If he pushed it too far and Ardyn actually died Shuu would be out a valuable test subject. But at the same time the thought of dissecting someone like him practically gave him shivers. Shuu smiled, laughing to himself.

"Your head must be a fascinating place." A comment from Ardyn broke him from his thoughts. "I'm curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat...among other things."

Ardyn snorted. "Cute."

Shuu ignored him and proceeded to hoist him over his left shoulder. There was no way his right side could stand the weight.

Slowly they navigated the stairs, but half way down his right leg started to shake.

"Having trouble?"

"You're awfully talkative, aren't you?" Shuu hissed, his voice shaking. This had been a mistake. There was no way he could get him down these stairs without slipping and killing himself. Shuu leaned down and placed Ardyn on the step below him. "My apologies in advance."

"Don't say things you don't mean." He sighed.

"Fair enough." Shuu replied and pushed him gently down the steps.

Ardyn didn't make a sound as he tumbled down, landing with a reasonable thud on the concrete.

Shuu carefully got down the rest of the stairs. He still felt a bit unsteady. Getting back up the stairs later on would most likely prove to be a problem.

Ardyn rolled himself over on to his back. When Shuu looked down, after catching his breath he noticed that he was staring.

"Having trouble?" He caught the subtle smirk on his face.

"It doesn't concern you." He snapped at him.

"Touchy subject?"

"No, it simply doesn't concern you," Shuu repeated. He walked to the coat hanger in the corner and threw his black jacket on to it. It was getting to be too warm to wear it, but too cold to just walk in his sweater and shirt. Now, however, he was horribly overheated. Shuu took off the sweater vest and loosened his tie, tossing them both to the couch he had in the middle of the room. It was where he slept more often then he'd like to admit. The purple button up shirt came off too, leaving him in his white undershirt. He was painfully aware of the eyes staring a hole into his back.

"Do you usually strip when you have guests over?"

"My guests-" he hissed "usually aren't conscious, or breathing for that matter."

Ardyn chuckled. "Just how many have there been before me?"

He scoffed. "You really expect me to have kept track?"

"Yes, I do."

True. Shuu had countless journals detailing every test subject he'd ever had. The names were omitted (they weren't important in the slightest) but he had a vague idea of how many there had been. In the twenties at the very least. "Somewhere between 25 and 30." Shuu turned to face him. "Is your curiosity satisfied?"

"For now."

He made a sort of exasperated sigh, shaking his head back and forth. He'd had mouthy test subjects before, but none like this. None that kept it up this far into the process. Shuu looked him over once again. His calm demeanor raised an important question. "Can you feel pain?" he asked.

"Now that's an interesting question," Ardyn chuckled. "Perhaps I could have, once upon a time, felt pain, but I have long since forgotten the sensation. Does that disappoint you?"

"Not in the slightest." Shuu answered, placing his hands in his pockets. "Screaming and begging are awfully distracting. It's why I prefer an unconscious or deceased subject. But there's no need to worry about that with you, now is there hohoho."

"No, I suppose not."

One accidental death due to blood loss later and things were starting to come together for Shuu. It was the death itself that led to the Ardyn Izunia's regeneration. He had watched carefully, but it seemed to happen in a flash. Maybe he had blinked? One moment his legs were severed, the next they had reappeared. Thinking back, it had been the same with his throat.

"I'm no stranger to torture, but that was an interesting experience to say the least." He said as he wandered the basement, studying the various equipment that Shuu had laid out around the room. "What a fascinating place to have a laboratory."

"Keeps things private." Shuu commented as he hosed the blood off the floor into a drain he'd had put in.

"Tell me something, Shuu," The overly familiar tone was beginning to chip away at Shuu's patience. "Where did you get those scars on your right arm? By any chance does it have something to do with the weakness in your right leg?"

Shuu turned off the water, gritting his teeth. "I told you it's none of your concern!" He whirled around to find Ardyn right behind him. He instinctively took a few steps back, finding himself up against a table.

"I'm just curious about you is all. You're learning an awful lot about me. Don't you think you should return the favor?" Ardyn closed the gap between them once again.

"You act as though I owe you something?"

"I'm merely suggesting that have an equal trade. You can run your experiments on me and I can learn more about you. How does that sound?" He raised an eyebrow.

Shuu wasn't in the business of making deals, but this was an usual and fascinating subject on his hands. He wasn't about to let him go under any circumstances. He could let a few pieces of information slide from time to time. "I'll consider it."

Ardyn took another step closer "Do I need to convince you?"

"Convince me?" he repeated.

"Happily." Ardyn placed his hand under his chin, lifting it up and leaned in pressing his lips against Shuu's. It was brief, but surprising enough that Shuu didn't know how to react until Ardyn stepped back. Was that a kiss? "What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Shuu reached for a scalpel and slashed it across the man's throat, sending him to the ground, however it was less than a minute before he was one his feet again with a smile on his face.

"Perhaps I'm just more than you bargained for."


End file.
